Fan Fiction: Crossovers
Can't Get You Outta My Head

  "Good morning." chirped Diane as she walked into the room, wearing one of Stephen's monogrammed bathrobes.

  "Morning Diane." Stephen replied neutrally, as he sipped his coffee.

  Diane walked straight past and poured herself a cup. "Shower's free by the way. I have to say I was relieved when I read your note. I was afraid that you had moved and this was some strangers house".

  "Astonishing how often that happens when you break in."

  She gave him a mischievous grin. "How else was I supposed to get in? My key didn't work for some reason. I actually thought it was someone else's place when I saw the way it was decorated."

  Stephen blinked. "What's wrong with the way its decorated?"

  "Nothing, nothing." gushed Diane. "I just thought you would have moved into the manor after Victor left."

  "Victor hasn't left. What makes you think he has?" Stephen said pointedly.

  "Oh, nothing really, he just seemed to be getting on last time I was in town, I would have thought he had left for Florida by now."

  "He sends his love too." Stephen said, fighting The Shadow's growl out of his voice. Diane decided she had gone too far. "You know what? This isn't going too well. Let's start again."

  Silence.

  Stephen fought the temptation to 'persuade' her to leave town. He had to know what she was in town for.

  "So." he said finally. "What brings you back to New York?" The recent unseasonable rain and cold? He thought to himself.

  "Can't I just come to town to catch up with an old friend?" she asked innocently.

  "Yes, but you've had years to do that. So why now?"

  Diane was silent for a moment, and then gave him a pleading look. "I need money. $100,000 dollars."

  Stephen did a spit take, and almost sprayed her with coffee. "Are you planning to buy a country?"

  "Stephen," she pleaded. "Please, I didn't have a choice."

  "A choice to do what?" Stephen asked firmly.

  "Well," she was struggling for words. "After I left for Seattle, things went sour. Nobody would hire me."

  "Nobody wanted a worker with a record?" Stephen was playing his part. But was Diane playing a part too?

  "Exactly." She said. "I had to go to… someone else for money."

  Stephen could tell where this was going. "Oh boy. And in what back alley, black market, locked door, we'll-break-your-bones-if-you-don't-pay-up, business did you find this benefactor?"

  "I had no choice!" Diane said, on the verge of tears. "I borrowed fifty grand to pay my debts and get me on my feet again. I figured I'd pay him back when things stabilized. They haven't."

  Stephen held up a halting hand. "Hold it! Fifty grand?"

  "Plus a hundred percent interest. Please Stephen help me! He's been following me around wherever I go. I really think he's going to hurt me. Please, you're the only one I can turn to." Diane was blubbering now.

  Stephen took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "I'll think about it."

  Suddenly Diane was smiling again, and her eyes were dry. "Thank you." She said calmly. "I'm gonna go dry my hair."

  She left the room, Stephen stunned at the mood swing. The doorbell rang. Stephen answered it. At the door was Peter.

  Peter took one look at Stephen and started laughing. He continued laughing as he walked in and sat down. By the time Stephen had closed the door he had almost composed himself.

  "Finished?" asked Stephen, handing his partner a cup of coffee.

  "No milk?" Peter said as he sipped.

  "You can thank her for that." Stephen said, gesturing toward the hallway door. Peter collapsed into giggles again. Stephen endured it for a full three minutes before he spoke. "I said I could explain."

  Peter composed himself again, and shook his head. "No, you don't have to explain to me. You might have to explain to Victor. But not to me."

  Stephen groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Tell me you didn't."

  "Didn't what? Let him know she was in your shower? I didn't have to. He heard the conversation. I made the call from his office."

  Stephen sighed again, and rubbed his temples. "What did he say when he found out?"

  "Nothing. He just turned pale and started twitching."

  "How nice, he remembers me." Said Diane from the door, still in Stephen's bathrobe.

  "He'll never forget you Diane." Stephen said without looking up.

  "Oh good then his memory is still strong. That's nice." She was giving Peter the once over.

  Peter didn't miss a beat; he stood and immediately shook Diane's hand. "You must be Diane."

  Diane had her most charming smile, and returned the handshake. "Yes. So Stephen told you about me?"

  "When he heard you were in town it was a truly emotional moment."

  Forgotten on the couch, Stephen rubbed his temples again and nodded at that statement.

  Diane smiled warmly. "Isn't that nice. And you are?"

  "Peter Parker. I'm Stephen's partner."

  Diane's eyebrow lifted. "Partner? And all this time I thought Stephen was the exception to the rule of: 'No man is an island.'"

  Peter nodded. "If anyone could be an island it would be Stephen."

  "Stephen could probably buy the island." Diane said in a stage whisper.

  Peter and Diane burst into laughter. Stephen, still forgotten on the couch, rubbed his temples once again.

  "Well, I had better get dressed." Diane said. "Stephen? Is your wardrobe still in the same place?"

  "Yes," said Stephen, "But there is one difference. All the doors have two-way locks on them now."

  Diane smiled and headed out of the room. "A pleasure meeting you Peter." She left the room.

  "I suddenly have this blinding pain right behind my left eye." Stephen said.

  Peter gave Stephen a look. "She doesn't seem too bad."

  "You want her?" Stephen asked seriously. Peter just laughed again.

  "So why don't you tell me the rest of your story with her?" Peter asked finally.

  Stephen said nothing.

  "When did you find out she was psychic?" Peter pressed.

  "Uncle told you that did he?"

  "When did you find out?" insisted Peter.

  "About two weeks before she left. She's at least three months away from awakening."

  "Can she handle an awakening alone?" Peter said, concerned.

  "Not unless the universe hates me."

  Peter chuckled again. "I really don't see what your problem with her is."

  Stephen exploded off the couch and hissed at his partner. "That's how she sets the trap! That's the mistake we all made, thinking that she was a nice charming person. Well Peter Parker I beseech you: don't let her suck you in as well. If she gets under your skin then you will always regret it. Beware that charm Peter Parker. Good Lord man, I cant believe that smile doesn't set off your Spider-sense."

  Peter burst into uncontrollable laughter again, as Stephen slowly sank back onto the couch. "Did you find out what she's in town for?" Peter asked with a dry grin.

  "She gave me a story. But maybe that's just a cover. Let's see what she'll tell you. Her story may change."

  "She won't change her story suddenly with you here."

  Stephen gave an evil grin. "No, she won't. Good thing you like her."

  Peter looked confused, but just then Diane came back in, wearing what she was wearing the night before.

  Stephen stood up. "Diane, Peter was just saying how he would like to take you to lunch."

  Diane gave another charming smile and gave peter another once over. "Really?"

  Peter gave Stephen a trapped look. "Of course. The Cobalt Club makes a great filet mignon."

  "I love filet mignon." Gushed Diane; taking his arm.

  It was everything Stephen could do not to burst out laughing. She had given him the same response about Peking duck when they had first met.

  "Have fun you two. I have a meeting with Uncle Victor."

  "Give him my best, maybe we'll stop in after lunch." called Diane.

  "And wont that be fun?" quipped Peter. In a very low whisper he told Stephen. "You better go calm your uncle down before he starts climbing the walls. That's my job. Give him some Valium if you have to but keep him calm."

  "So Peter, how long have you and Stephen been partners?" asked Diane.

  The two left, and Stephen made himself breakfast, only to find that she had use the last of his butter too.